• Elsie Hernandez

Be You Not Them.

The most fabulous feeling in the world is being yourself. I don't know about you, but as a mom this is the first thing I teach Sky, to always be yourself.  I show her how powerful it is not to be afraid of being exactly who you are. I have to say, she definitely has proven with her personality that she loves being herself. The minute we stop allowing our children to express themselves, is when they start to miss the thing that makes them awesome. Then start to face the challenges of trying to fit into our societies mode. I decided to write this story, because just recently I came across a conversation about my decision and why I chose not to do what everybody else does. Yes, adults still run into the peer pressures and sometimes feel like we have to justify ourselves to others. Being the way that I am, I've learned that in order to grow you just need to be you, something that we tend to lose as adults. We get caught up on what other people think and forget that we are the important ones.

Forget about other people's thoughts on how you should be. You always need to remember that people aren't you and you aren't them. The same way you support others they may not support you. Funny, that I came across this article "16 Things  You Shouldn't Have to Justify to Anyone Else", written "by Marc Chernoff, because it was exactly how I was feeling at the time and it's almost like he was describing me. Chernoff titled 16 things, that I added my own responses to. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I do! 

1. Make you first - You need to be good to yourself and continue to be good to yourself. You will leave incredible memories behind. Your legacy will be amazing!!! Self love is always number one. So sometimes if I feel like singing, I sing!

2. The need to express your emotions. – This is the one thing I'm big on. People are always trying to tell you how you should be feeling or acting, instead of worrying about how they are making you feel. To me feelings are never wrong. You feel how you feel inside at the moment and nobody can tell you different. Your heart knows what it is and you are never wrong. I agree with Chernoff when he says that "The people who judge you for being human, and not being modest, emotionless, and “in line,” are the ones who need to apologize".

3. Your weirdness. – this is me big time! I admit that I can be weird and silly at times, but it is part of my free spirit and I wouldn't have it any other way. So if they don't get it, oh well.

4. Being unapologetically YOU.

I never claim to be perfect, but I absolutely love myself. Being me is all I know. My love is true, my heart is big and my soul is expressive.

5. Not taking things personally. – I have to say, it took me a while to learn this one. People will be who they are and will show you truly what you mean to them. Don't take it personal I say now, because honestly it doesn't make a difference. I can only make myself happy by believing in myself not absorbing other peoples truths.

6. Deciding to forgive. – My forgiveness comes quick. I won't even attempt to hold in that craziness. So this one is short for me. However, the trust might be a little shaky.

7. Who you choose to spend your time with. – People are often chasing money more than chasing the people that they love. Money comes and goes faster than you think. Believe it every moment counts and life is too short to be too busy for the people that you love. I'm on a mission to never forget that and make time for anyone that needs my love. We have limited time on earth, so capture every moment.

8. Not perfectly measuring up to everyone else’s progress. – well this one to me is funny, because I've always been the last of the Mohegans and quite honestly I'm good with it. People live fast paced lives, at least I can say I breathed. I've learned that I don't have to be first, I just have to be. 

9. Why you have failed, and why you are not scared to fail again. – this is where the naysayers come in constantly questioning your moves. I thought about this just recently and went back to thinking how I don't care what others think and will not explain one more sentence of how I'm happier than they think, because when I fall I keep getting up and that's one thing I hope that Sky will see. You just keep on moving in this exciting life.

10. The young-minded, foolish things you once did. – in this case I have to say, we all have those foolish times and I'll leave it at that.

11. Dressing down and not looking all fixed up every second. – I love Amy Schumer 's new movie "I Feel Pretty", She hit it dead on, on how every women in the world should feel about themselves. One of the best quotes from this movie was when she said, "I have a crazy idea, let's be honest for a minute. No matter how many times we hear it's what's on the inside that matters. Women know deep down it's what's on the outside that the whole world judges." I've learned to love myself at any size, because only you will always be your biggest fan!

12. Your healthy eating habits. – I know that eating vegetables and fruit is healthy. Jeez, I wasn't born yesterday, but listening to people constantly talk about what's bad for you can be annoying.  Not to mention all of these plastic surgeons taking advantage of the situation. My pet peeve are the ones that claim to be healthy, but have really bad acne or a doctor that is also over weight. I try my best to eat healthy all the time.

13. Working extra hard on your dreams.

Be one of them. Yes, yes and yes. My passion drives me. I will no longer take breaks from what I love to do. The big thing about this is trying to get the support of others. Getting back to how people often don't support you how you would support them. Don't let this stop you from moving forward. Still remain yourself. Listen to your heart. I love what Chernoff says in this article "Make your mark.  Embrace your challenges.  Keep dreaming big.  Dream some more.  In fact, dream and don’t stop dreaming until all of your dreams come true.”  And all of this is fine and dandy, but the problem is a lot of people dream… and that’s all they do.  And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really remarkable, passionate, and powerful people, are busy doing something with their dreams.  ." I would like to add to this by saying, keep your plan low key until you are ready.

14. Choosing to smile through your struggles. –This is big, a smile is contagious. Lord knows the challenges I have faced these past two years, but I'm still smiling and laughing because thats just me. Just reach out to the humor and find the good in the journey. Everybody is different and never assume that someone's problem is easy, because it might be really hard for them at the moment. I've learned to keep your challenges private, because sometimes people just don't care and their comments aren't so reassuring that this too shall pass.

15. The things you hope for. – This is something we all need and want. I'm a firm believer that love conquers all. You also need hope, because we always wish for the best.

16. Why you feel completely justified already. –Again my passion drives me and I have decided to be around what I love and what makes me happy. Believe me it doesn't take much. You don't need 10,000 followers to tell you that you are enough. Chernoff says it right when he says, "You have nothing to justify.  Care less about who you are to others and more about who you are to yourself.  You will have less heartaches and disappointments the minute you stop seeking from others the justification only YOU can give yourself". So like the title of this post says "Be You Not Them".

Thank you for passing by and don't forget to be kind. Maybe help an old women with her groceries, take out the garbage for your neighbor, just do whatever it takes to spread the love.  Please don't forget to subscribe.

Article mentioned: "16 Things  You Shouldn't Have to Justify to Anyone Else", written by Marc Chernoff

Movie: I Feel Pretty, Amy Schumer